Health and wellness blog - Form Fit

Lose the Love Handles

3/2/2022

Are you struggling to lose the love handles?

It can be very frustrating when you have an area of your body that you are struggling to lose weight from, especially when other areas are starting to respond. There could be many different factors at play and without sitting down to speak with you specifically, I can only provide you with a few ideas as to what you may need to do to help lose the weight around your midsection.

As with all exercises, I don't feel that any one type of exercise will target the love handles and it is key to understand that spot reducing is not effective. In saying that though, there are a few things that I would encourage you to pay attention to and focus on to help whittle down your middle.

First, I would recommend you look at what you are eating; if you are eating a lot of carbohydrates and sugary foods your insulin levels are being affected and you may be dealing with some insulin resistance. This will put weight on your midsection, so it is imperative to clean up your diet by addling protein, fat, and fiber to your meals and cut down on the snacking throughout the day.

Second, if you are losing weight in all other areas of your body but the mid-section continues to stick on, than it might be more of a pressure system problem that you may be dealing with, so take a look at these videos to see if you have Diastasis Recti (split abs), or if you are creating pressure down on your low belly which may be creating a belly pooch.

Watch this 5 part Series of Do you have a low belly pooch

Last I would make sure you are working out with enough intensity to lose the mid-section weight. It has been show that High Intensity Interval Training is a great way to lose the weight around the belly.

Working on certain exercises that will strengthen the mid-section are a great way to help work on losing the love handles along with practicing all the things I have mentioned above. These exercises although not designed to spot reduce the area, are targeted to help strengthen the muscles in your core which will in turn to help with the area.

If you would like to speak with me further about things you can do to help I would love to be able to help you more specifically. You can try a month of our program for just $15 and have access to all of our LIVE classes, online workouts, and accountability meetings that we offer.

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Supporting Your Hormones

2/16/2022

Just like seasons our body is cyclical and it's important to pay attention so that you are better equipped to support your hormones. Each phase within your cycle can provide you with a lot of information about your body and health. Take the time to nourish your body and begin moving more within these cycles to ensure you are providing your body with what it needs. Once you start leaning into the natural rhythm of your cycles, it can take up to 3 months for you to see how your body is responding; so it is not uncommon for you to deal with stress one month and then three months later your period becomes out of control, so pay attention to these ebbs and flows.

Phase 1: Menstrual phase
This phase should last 3-7 days and this is a time for rest. Your body is searching for comfort during this time so don't be surprised if your cravings are very high and you just want to settle in and watch TV. Do not succumb to the cravings for sweets, instead reach for nourishing foods and comfort your body with warming teas, comfy blankets, and your favorite book to help provide your body with the comfort it's searching for.

Support your body with nourishing foods that are rich in iron and zinc to help replenish what is being lost (seafood, red meat, seaweed, kidney beans, chlorophyll, mushrooms, beets). To help with the cravings try some dark chocolate or fruits and go easy on the foods that you eat to help with digestions since your body is busy shedding the lining of your uterus.
For exercise this is not a time to try for reaching goals, this is a time for you to walk and stretch.
Your creativity is high during this time so take time to take lots of notes and plan but don't move forward with implementation during this time as it may be to much.

You are in a hibernation type mode during this time, so relax and enjoy it.

Phase 2: Follicular phase:
As soon as your period ends you are now in the follicular phase. Estrogen and testosterone are low but are starting to increase as you get closer to ovulation and this is a time when you will feel more energetic and ready to get back into your life.

Eat foods that are good for the gut with pre and probiotics, fermented foods such as sauerkraut, kombucha, pickles, tempeh, miso, and different sprouts; and light and fresh foods. Make sure you are supporting your body with the nutrients it needs to help sustain your energy. Lots of healthy fats, healthy carbohydrates (think all of your root vegetables), and some grains if your body can tolerate them, and lots of healthy protein. If you don’t have a sensitivity to soy this is a great time to add it into your diet
You can add in more vigorous workouts like Spin, HIIT, runs and boot camps are great to do during this time.
Go out with girlfriends, or on a date night as you are going to be feeling more confident during this time. You have more energy and are able to go for longer periods of time. This doesn't mean you should be staying up later (listen to our Sleep Masterclass to learn more about sleep-in our Membership), but if there is a time to be out later than normal, this is the phase where it will affect you the least. If you have worked through the menstrual phase and you had some creative ideas, now is the time to begin acting on them.

Phase 3: Ovulation phase:
As your hormones rise it stimulates the release of an egg. Ovulation is the shortest phase in your cycle and will usually only last for 2-4 days and is important whether or not you are trying to conceive as when you ovulate your body produces progesterone. Progesterone is that calming hormone that helps with anxiety, mood swings, hair loss, irregular cycles, and low sex drive. Make sure you are practicing healthy habits to ensure you are ovulating each month. If you notice spotting during this time, it may mean you didn't ovulate so be aware of that as well as it may mean you need to really focus on health the following month to ensure you get back on a normal cycle. Practicing all the things within our Membership (listen to the Masterclasses to help you understand more things you can do for your sleep, stress, and overall health).

Always make sure you are eating healthy foods, but now is a time to be eating more leafy greens, lots of vegetables especially cruciferous vegetables just in case you have to much estrogen in your system to help it get the excess out of your body, and fruits along with healthy fats like nuts, seeds, and avocado.
You can continue to do the high intensity workouts along with more cardio but make sure to listen to your body; if you deal with pain during ovulation (mittelschmerz syndrome) than take it down a bit and make sure to take a bit more time with the recovery and stretching. This is also a great time for heavier lifting
You will usually feel confident and at the top of your game during this time, so now is the time to take on the world! Turn all those plans into action!

Phase 4: Luteal Phase:
Your hormones are at their highest phase and will start to drop down to prepare for menstruation, so you will start to notice lower energy, if you are dealing with PMS at this point then you are probably still carrying around extra estrogen so make sure to continue to eat a lot of cruciferous vegetables. The Luteal Phase is when your body is reabsorbing the corpus luteum from the egg and progesterone levels will start to drop. This is usually 10-14 days.

You are going to be craving sweet and salty foods during this time, do not fall into this vicious cycle of unstable blood sugar by going to those favorite foods. If you are one who likes to settle down in the evening with an alcoholic drink, please know this is going to affect your cycle and will cause it to be heavier and longer, breasts will be tender, and your mood will fluctuate more. Make sure to eat foods that are high in magnesium to help stop chocolate cravings, Vit B enriched foods (Swiss cheese, eggs, fish, meat, leafy greens, and dairy) to keep you from wanting sugar, and also note that if you are hungrier than normal it is ok to eat more just try choosing healthier options. Foods rich in B vitamins, calcium, magnesium, and fiber are important during this time to help with the sugar cravings and will help to decrease water retention and bloating. Make sure you are supporting your digestive system with fiber to help ensure you are getting rid of the excess estrogen during this time. Up your complex carbohydrates during this time to help with mood swings. Enjoy brown rice, sweet potatoes, all of the squash and root vegetables are great during this time. Enjoy fruits and now is a fine time to allow the higher sugar fruits into your diet to help with the sweet cravings. Think about adding fruits (pears, apples, and bananas) to sweeten things up or adding dried fruits like raisins, cranberries, and dates into your baking rather than sugar. Add some magnesium in the evening to help you calm down. If you are craving chocolate go for the darker chocolate, preferably above 80%. If you are craving wine during this time, try some kombucha instead.
Start to ease up on the HIIT and cardio sessions; going from 3-4 days a week, down to 1-2 days of HIIT, start adding more yoga, pilates, and going for walks instead of running. Your body needs more calming things during this time or you will start to overload the adrenals, so do not push through this time. If you are attending fitness classes you will want to not push yourself to hard during this time, maybe do mid-level work rather than pushing yourself to hard. (Feel free to speak with me in regards to your options for things you can do instead during this time). You may start to feel achy during this time, so listen to your body and do what feels best.
Your body is starting to slow down a bit, don't overbook your schedule during this time, and make sure you have some time to move through things at a slower pace. You may want to ensure you have a few extra minutes between each thing you are doing to take some extra breaths and relax.

Once you begin to lean into your cycles you will notice that you will start to feel better within each cycle. If you are not having a regular cycle, than you may want to follow the moon as your cycle to help create a rhythm within your own body.

If you would like to try our program of supporting your hormones with a meal plan and workouts, you can try our 30 day Support your Cycle in our Membership. The first month is just $15 and then you can cancel at any time.

Support Your Hormones Program

What is the right diet?

2/1/2022

which is right diet

You ready to know what the right diet is?

Unfortunately, I don't have the answer for you (but wait, read on as I think you will be better able to determine which is right for you after reading this).

We are all individuals, we all will benefit from different things and it’s going to depend on you and what stage of life you are in.

No matter what form of “diet” you try, whether it be macros, keto, intermittent fasting, whatever it may be. You need to ask yourself:

How do I feel when I eat this way?
How do I feel when I eat certain foods?

And start listening to your body because it will show you through energy or exhaustion, through headaches, sinuses, skin irritations, brain fog and so much more-it will tell you, you just need to make sure you are listening.

We have gotten to the point where we are much more, just tell me what to do. Just give me the meal plan, just give me the workout, just give me the prescription, just tell me what to do; rather than listening to what is within your body and listening to what it is saying.

I’m going to ask you to really pay attention to how you feel when you eat a certain food. How does it make you feel? because some of us will feel good eating something like kale, while other’s aren’t going to (you may get very bloated and just not feel good) even though you have been told it's healthy. It means right now, it is not for you for whatever reason! So, no matter what diet you try, you need to start really listening to your body to determine if it is right for you, right now.

The next thing, all diets are going to work for a period of time-THEY ALL WORK

The things you need to be thinking about is:

How long is the diet going to last? Is it something you can continue to do for a long period of time? And if the answer is no, then it may not be the diet for you.
Or is it for you right now based on your situation? If you are pregnant, you may not want to follow a keto diet, or if you are peri-menopause and dealing with adrenal fatigue you probably shouldn’t be intermittent fasting.
Don’t get to committed to one specific diet. So many vegan influencers have had to either hide or feel guilt when they realize that their body is missing out on key nutrients and they have to start incorporating more fish and meat into their diet. So again, listen to your body. Some people will flourish on a vegan diet forever, some may do great on it for awhile and then will need to change, and some may never do well on it. That is why it is key to listen to YOUR body!

We also have gotten to the point, where we are not looking at health as what is good for us inside. We have gotten to where health is about the way we look and that is wrong. That is a very bad thing the fitness industry has done to all of society.

The number one thing with any diet should be to to ensure that we are feeling good and are healthy on the inside. I will tell you I've seen many people that look healthy on the outside with a six pack and “perfect” body fat percentage. They appear to be really healthy but they are missing key nutrients. Their hair is falling out, they've lost their periods because they're not providing their body enough calories; they're not eating for their health. They're eating for a specific look which can be very dangerous.

Last, let's pull out what almost all diets are recommending? Although there are some extreme diets where you only eat one thing (like Carnivore diet), but for most diets there are two things they focus on.

Get rid of the processed foods
Eat more vegetables.

If we can all agree on that, if you just work on those two things, less processed food and more vegetables, then you are going to be making positive changes in your diet. Can we just start there?! and if you need some fancy name for it. Let's call it the: NOPRO/MOVEG diet Try this diet for one month and let me know how you feel.

The last thing I want to mention in regards to specific diets. Don’t get too caught up in any one way of thinking about a diet. If you look at macros, macros are great. But there's a healthy way to eat macros, and there's an unhealthy way to eat macros. Same thing with keto. There is a healthy way to do keto. And there's an unhealthy way to do keto. If the diet you chose is pushing these delicious looking protein waffles, slathered with this delicious peanut butter sauce, and a dollop of some sort of cream on top. If it looks too good to be true, even though yes, it's within your macros. It might make you look healthy, but it may not be working to help you to be healthy on the inside.

You really need to focus, not on what the diet makes you look like, but more what it's doing on the inside because ultimately the goal should be to live a long and healthy life in a body that supports you for the long term and is capable of moving you and not so much what it looks like.

Let me know in the comments how you feel about trying my new diet :)

If you are ready to start eating healthier with my NOPRO/MOVEG diet than join me in my Membership where I provide you with meal plans, workouts, mindset shifts, weekly accountability meetings, and some fun 30 day programs to help you with your consistency. First month is just $15 to try and can be cancelled at any time.

Try the membership

Glute Bridge Exercise

1/14/2022

Glute bridge exercises are a great way to start firing on the glutes and hamstrings, but ONLY if done correctly...

and, unfortunately

many people are doing it wrong! If you are going for height and you are extending up through your back- you are doing it wrong. This is using your back more than your glutes, it's also causing you to extend your ribs up into the air which keeps the ribs from being stacked over the pelvis and can be bad for those with split abs.

*The picture below is probably actually a depiction of a yoga stretch which is fine but many people do this when they are practicing glute bridges, so I thought it would get the point across*

In this video I explain how to practice it with good form but here are the main things you need to know:

Pelvis should be neutral (think pubic bone and hip bones in the same plane)
Ribs should be stacked over pelvis, do not let them flare up to the ceiling
If you feel your back hinging up or if you feel it in your back, you are probably doing it wrong
Drop your butt down a bit (don't go for height) and see if you feel your glutes fire on more

My favorite exercise to really get you to feel those glutes firing on is the one in this video where I have you lock the knee into your chest. It truly helps you to feel how the glute should be activating through the exercise.

If you are interested in trying out our FREE 5 day challenge, I would love for you to begin it by clicking the button below. It will provide you with quick workouts you can easily add into your day, some delicious meals you can enjoy, and quick tips to help you start living healthier. Let's do this!

I want to do the FREE Challenge

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Proper Plank Form

Relieve upper back pain at the shoulder blades

1/13/2022

It is all too common to deal with upper back pain right at the shoulder blades in our daily life. Whether you are lugging a child around all day, carrying heavy bags, sitting at a desk for extended periods of time, or even for those sleeping on their side.

One of the most common things I hear from my clients is they are dealing with pain between the shoulder blades and are asking me what they can do to relieve it.

With the way we are moving in today's life, we are definitely helping to create this upper back tension along with the things we are not doing as well, so here I want to be able to provide you with a few things you can do in your everyday life to help alleviate the pain, and some things you can do to help moving your body more so that you don't continue to have the pain.

It is always my goal to help you find ways to do these exercises in your day to day life because who truly has time to spend an hour working on corrective exercises in addition to everything else you have going on. So we will start with things you can do in your car to help alleviate the pain.

First, we are going to work on relieving some of the pain you have while driving in your car, as this is a place where we can really focus on our posture.

Practice tucking chin slightly down towards chest and think about straightening your back (like someone is pulling a string connected to the spine and the back of your head) until the back of your head touches the head rest. This will help with text neck (forward head posture) which helps to create tension in the upper back and shoulders.
Alleviate and release the tension spots near your shoulder blades by keeping a tennis ball in the car. Place the tennis ball in between your back and the seat and gently press into it until you find the tension spots (you may have to move the tennis ball around a bit to find those tight spots). Once you find a tight spot, just press into the area and breathe to relax and release the tension. Do note that if you feel numbing or tingling down the arm or in the hand you have hit a nerve, so just move the ball as nerves don't like be pressed on like that.
Lastly, practice back breathing which will help to alleviate some of the tension that occurs from breathing high up in our chest. Just rest back into your seat and take a deep breath, thinking about expanding the back ribs into the seat.

The next thing I will recommend you do is while you are sitting at your desk or sitting for extended periods of time. The goal is to start finding ways to move throughout your day as the more we are able to move the less tension we will deal with.

First make sure to practice some extension throughout your day, since when we sit we tend to round our shoulders forward creating a lot of tension in our chest. So take your hands and place them behind your head, and then bring your elbows out to the side and lean back, extending your chest up towards the ceiling. If you are able to lean back into the back of the chair to allow for some gravity to pull your upper body back, even better.
Second, make sure to take a couple of minutes throughout your day to reach from side to side, rotationally reaching back behind you, and even stretching your neck from side to side. Honestly, any type of stretching you can do is great and if you are able to stand up and stretch moving around through different positions even better!
Lastly, try to move through different positions while you are sitting at your desk. Try bringing a knee up towards your chest and rest your foot on the chair if you are flexible enough, or even grab something like a stool to place under your desk so that you are changing the position of your legs if you aren't as flexible. Also think about standing for a bit, sitting for a bit, grab a stability ball and use that, or if you have a laptop-take it down to a short stool or table and sit on the floor so that your body is moving through different positions.

There are a ton of other things you can do to help with that upper back pain that includes specific stretches, foam rolling, and just bringing your arms up over your head more but I would also recommend working on strengthening your back.

Now here is the thing. IF you have been a rounded forward posture, I DO NOT recommend going and grabbing heavy weights to start lugging around as that will probably create more problems than good; but if you go slow and work with someone to help you to start working on adding weight slowly while also ensuring you are doing this without compromising form than you will begin to see a drastic difference.

and if you are interested in working on your posture so that you can start to ease the aches and pains then feel free to follow me on YouTube or join our Posture Fix Program.

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Raising better communicators

1/6/2022

Cara Tyrell with Core4 Parenting provides parents with a toolkit of information they need to be their child’s first and best teacher. After completing studies in American Sign Language, linguistics, education and reading and working with young children, Cara began to notice that many of the children who came to her were not prepared for the social emotional and interpersonal needs in preschool and kindergarten. Feeling that her skills were not being fully utilized in the education setting she left the classroom to become a nanny for children so she could help them develop their whole person from birth so they would be ready socially and emotionally to enter preschool or kindergarten. Using the four core communication techniques mutual honesty, trust, open communication, and respect with children she began helping them to develop their interpersonal, physical, social, emotional, and cognitive skills.

By the age of 5 approximately 85% of a child's foundational brain growth is complete. By intervening early in their child's development, parents and caregivers are able to set children up to be more resilient and successful when they enter kindergarten. Having parents ask themselves what qualities and characteristics they want to instill in their child can reframe the conversation from what they want a child to be to who they want their child to be.

The first step in beginning to cultivate the whole child:

is to not only speak to them in full sentences
but to narrate what the parent is doing or feeling.

Even as young as three months old a baby's brain is developing architecturally by hearing complex and complete speech. Speaking to them not only about what a parent is doing but also how a parent is feeling or wants to feel. The example Cara gives in the podcast is for the parent to narrate while making a cup of tea, the reason behind needing or wanting a cup of tea and how the parent will drink the tea. “Wow, today was really a hard day for me. I'm gonna go make a cup of tea. And then I will sit here and we will play together.”

The second thing parents can do to help their baby build communication skills:

is to use sign language with their child.

By giving them a voice through sign language parents find that communication is easier and helps to avoid frustration before a child can use words to communicate. Children get frustrated because while they can understand what you are saying to them, they are not yet able to use their expressive language skills to tell you what they need, feel or want. By using sign language it gives children the ability to communicate their needs, wants and feelings.

For parents of older children Cara mentions that it’s not too late to teach our teens about emotional control. When we notice our older kids are angry or upset, many parents try to stop their child's feelings of anger, sadness, frustration and so forth instead of helping them channel their feelings into an appropriate outlet. It is more helpful for parents to realize that it's their child's job to try to discharge their feelings in a way that is okay to do and then help them develop the tools to feel like they can solve their own problem once they have calmed down.

Cara’s online courses help parents through all the stages of development from birth through five. She has created a virtual village with education courses, support groups and professional advice that has helped countless parents and families begin the journey of teaching their children how to effectively communicate in the world. If you are interested in booking a free 15-minute consultation with Cara follow this link https://tinyurl.com/47akru5e.

Cara also offers a free webinar on her website at
FREE Webinar Part1 — Home with Core4

Create New Habits

1/4/2022

How are you starting off your year?

As the New Year comes around it can be easy to decide to start doing all the things. You may be thinking, I want to make big changes this year, so I'm going to start with eating better, working out every day, taking time to meditate, creating a healthy morning routine, and on and on and on.

And by January 17th you messed up somewhere along the way, feel guilty, and give up. Why???

We are creatures of habit, so to think you can change everything at once is so unrealistic and can be disappointing if you fail, but if you changed everything at once you are more than likely to fail.

So, instead of thinking about how you are going to be failing this year, I want to help you to focus on just one thing. Pick one thing you are going to work on this month, one thing you feel you can commit to, and practice it daily until it becomes a habit.

Better yet, take that one habit and start stacking it with something else you are already doing in your everyday life to help make it stick. Here are a few ideas for you to help get you started.

If your goal is to just start moving a bit more each day than I would love for you to join our 5 minute a day challenge where we practice small movements and a 5 min workout to help you to start creating the habit of working out. Or let us know below, what your one thing is that you are going to focus on to begin the year.

5 min Fast Fit Challenge

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Mindful Multi-Tasking Tips

12/20/2021

mom multitasking

Before reading any further stop and brainstorm a list. Come up with a list of everything that makes you feel good…

Moms don’t have a problem getting everything done day to day. We are constantly doing things that need to get done and most often those things are being done for other people. Marissa Lonic, founder of the company Moma Work It: Slay the Day, says that when moms focus primarily on their families and not leaving time for themselves it leads to exhaustion, resentment and burn out.

Prioritizing self-care is necessary and doesn’t have to mean spending a day at the spa once a week or always having a perfect mani/pedi. Self-care can also look like spending five minutes a day doing something from the list of things that make you happy that you brainstormed before reading this blog. A list of things that make a person happy can include things like exercise, taking a walk, enjoying a hot cup of coffee or organizing a closet. Lonic encourages moms to keep a running list of everything that makes them happy so they can quickly refer to the list in the moment when they can take five minutes to themselves to do something.

Many moms feel guilty taking time out of their day to do something for themselves. Lonic offers one on one coaching where they work on guilt management. What is guilt management? Modeling for our families how to take care of ourselves so we can be happy and not resentful of what we choose to give up. The example she gives is going out on a Friday night with girlfriends. If you say no because you feel guilty for missing the kid's routine will the resentment build? Sacrificing your happiness out of guilt leads to bitterness and resentment. It’s more important to teach your children how to live a happy and fulfilled life by modeling the type of life you want them to lead.

During the holidays the tasks to be completed can seem insurmountable. Lonic gives advice that can be used during the holidays and throughout the year. One of the most important pieces of advice is for moms to delegate and set boundaries. There is no reason why moms have to do everything on the list. Delegate responsibilities to your spouse or children if they're old enough to help. It’s also important to get comfortable with saying the word no. We have the power to make choices and are able to choose to say no. If there is something or someone that isn’t making us feel good, then we have every right to say no without apologizing. In this instance quality over quantity plays a huge role. Focusing and going all in on the few things that are truly important to you will have the biggest impact on your family and friends.

So how do you cut down on your to do list but still get it all done? Here are a few suggestions Lonic has for us especially during the holiday season:

Have a batch party - set a date and time to get the task done. You can invite friends or family along or even set up a time to catch up with an old friend over the phone while you do your task.
Mindful multitasking - multitask the mindless, easy tasks that won’t be affected if you don’t do them perfectly. Think folding laundry, packing lunches, doing the dishes etc. Whatever task you don’t want or need to be fully present in you can multitask. Save the focus for the things you really need to zero in on.
Get tasks out of your head - whatever system works for you - paper, whiteboard, online calendar, phone notes - write them down. Each day pick 3 tasks to focus on and work on checking those off the list.

Lonic says to give yourself grace when changing how you operate. Things don’t happen overnight and forming new habits can take as long as a year. By setting annual goals and breaking them down into daily manageable tasks you’re more likely to be successful.

Lonic has authored two books. One is called Time Momanagement and she has a workbook to help you drill down to the nitty gritty called Word to your Mother. Check out her website at www.mommaworkit.com and listen to episode 34 Mindful multitasking tips and time management tools to help the busy mom over at Raising_HealthyHumans.

And head to our Form Fit Mom Community to discuss further.

Join the Community

How to Handle Temper Tantrums

12/15/2021

Temper Tantrums

Dr. Katy Gibson is a mom of four who decided to leave her clinical position as a pediatrician to raise her children. When she made the transition to a stay-at-home mom, she joined several online mom groups to connect with others where she discovered other moms giving each other all sorts of advice. Some of that advice was great and some not so much. Being called to continue helping people she decided to start her own online education website and Facebook group to help make sure moms were getting the right advice from a qualified source.
There is no shortage of topics when it comes to questions moms have for Dr. Gibson. Being a mom can be overwhelming whether you’re a first-time mom or have multiple children. Each child brings unique qualities and characteristics to your family life. One topic that comes up often is tantrums and how to handle temper tantrums.

During the holidays tantrums can seem to go into overdrive and according to Dr. Gibson there are several reasons why this occurs.

Most kids thrive on routine but during the holiday season families travel, they go to celebrations and have more activity in general which throws kids off their schedule.
During all this, kids aren’t eating their normal food and generally consume extra goodies.

The biggest way to prevent tantrums during all of this is to know what your child's triggers are. Pay attention to and identify the triggers that can cause a meltdown.

All children are different so for one child missing nap time isn’t a big deal but for the next child it could mean the whole family suffers. Dr. Gibson says if that is the case then it is 100% ok to schedule your activities around naps to make everyone happy. For some children food can be a trigger. Too much sugar can affect children's overall mood including causing them to be hyperactive which can turn into them losing sleep. Another thing that can affect children during the holidays is their parents' level of stress. If families are traveling, preparing big meals, shopping for gifts and wrapping presents they undoubtedly can feel more stressed, and children can pick up on that. Remember to take a moment for yourself so your stress level won’t cause you to be short tempered with your children.

Dr. Gibson suggests preventing tantrums in the first-place parents need to pay attention to how their child is acting. If the child starts saying no or gets whiny those behaviors could be the beginnings of a full-on meltdown. If you can intervene at that point, you will most likely prevent a full-blown tantrum. We don’t always catch those cues so what happens when the tantrum is in full swing? That is when you try a few things to see what works. Give them something that will distract them like a favorite toy or book or a snack. Take them to another area to give them a moment to calm down. If a full-blown meltdown is happening sometimes the best option is to take the child to a safe space like a bathroom or car if you're out and about so they can calm down.

During my podcast with Dr. Gibson we discuss many common childhood issues including how to handle night terrors and the differences between night terrors and nightmares, the new rules for screen time and the best ways (and not so best ways) to treat common colds in children. Listen to episode 33 to hear all of the wonderful information Dr. Gibson shared with me.

For free tantrum survival tips below is a link to a free guide Dr. Gibson has on her website.
Freebie: Tantrum Survival Tips Every Mom Should Know: www.drkatygibson.com/tantrumtips
To join Dr. Gibsons Facebook group click the link below:
FB Mom's Group: Unfolding Motherhood with Dr. Katy
?‍?Unfolding Motherhood - with Dr. Katy

Parenting tips to Help Your Child Feel Empowered and In Control

12/3/2021

positive parenting

Sometimes parents can feel guilty for feeling feelings other than constant adoration for their children. The societal expectation that we never have negative feelings towards our children is real and parents often won’t share their true feelings and experiences in fear that they’ll be criticized, or worse ostracized, from friends and family. It can be difficult to find positive ways to parent.

Author and educational consultant Franki Bagdade isn’t afraid to let parents know that it’s normal and okay to have feelings for your children that don’t always fit the mold especially when parenting a child with different needs. Her recent book “I Love My Kids, But Don’t Always Like Them” explores current topics related to parenting our children through challenging times. According to Bagdade, sensory issues and anxiety are exploding in todays youth compounded by social media and the heavy use of technology like phones. Recognizing there was a large gap in the self help section at the bookstore, Bagdade began to focus her book on school aged children. Often this age group gets lost in the shuffle between toddlers and teens but it’s often the most critical time to recognize, diagnose and manage learning and behavior differences. This is the time many parents realize their child is suffering socially or academically but don’t have the resources to learn how to help them. Her book is a guide through various challenges and tips and tricks to manage them. Each chapter covers a topic that you may be struggling with and instead of having to read through the entire book, Bagdade designed her book so after reading the introduction, you can skip to the chapter that you need guidance from. Some of her chapters included parenting a child with ADHD, sensory processing disorder, autism and anxiety.

One topic Bagdade covers is sensory processing disorder which is recognized more now than in previous generations although she believes it’s always been as prevalent. One thing she noticed during her tenure at a summer camp was when she created sensory boxes with headphones, fidgets and sensory tools. Intended to help campers who were in the inclusion program of the camp she found that kids who were not diagnosed with sensory issues also seeked out the sensory processing tools to help calm them in the intense camp environment. The objects gave all kids a break while not removing themselves from the situation entirely. Bagdade says having fidgets and headphones are essential for children to learn how to calm themselves while being immersed in intense environments like school.

When it comes to managing sensory processing issues within the family Bagdade suggests finding ways to accommodate the child with the sensitivity. For instance if you know you will be in a loud place for a long time, bring headphones for the child or if you’ll be in a dark theater where there will be lots of bright, flashing lights you can bring sunglasses for your child. She also suggests that exposing a child to their sensitivities in small doses can help build their tolerance to those stimuli. While it’s important to choose activities as a family that everyone can enjoy, Bagdade suggests that you can also choose to do an activity with one child who you know will love the environment while letting the child who would not enjoy the activity stay home. That strategy helps you meet the needs of both children.

Anxiety is another issue that kids are experiencing in high numbers. Anxiety comes on a spectrum with some anxiety actually being good for you but when it becomes out of control then it needs to be addressed.
The first thing to do to gauge the level of anxiety your child is experiencing is to ask the right questions that will help you connect with them and allow them to express their feelings. Checking in with them on a daily basis about how they are doing is a good first step and when they do share their feelings with you, validating their feelings and experiences goes a long way in helping them process their feelings as well as sharing your feelings so they know as a parent, you also struggle with some feelings of anxiety.

So what are some strategies that we can use to help our kids recognize and manage their anxiety? Bagdade suggests the following ideas to begin the process:

Help your child recognize when they do feel calm. What are they doing? Encouraging your child to engage in an activity that calms them can include playing with a fidget like slime, watching a TV show or being in nature.
Use your senses to calm yourself. The example Bagdade uses is to find five things around you. Five things you can see or five things you can smell which can help the child be more mindful and present.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. When strategies are not helping your child anymore then it’s time to ask for the help of a professional therapist. Her book has a guide on how to find the right professional to help your child.

As our kids grow, Bagdade says tantrums don’t end with the toddler years. As adults even we have meltdowns which is the adult version of a toddler tantrum and older children are no different. We all miss assignments, make a mistake, have a bad day and we just explode. One of the least effective ways to help stop a tantrum is by talking too much. Bagdade says that in the moment, you need to give your child space. Hand them their favorite lovie or if they’re an older child and you know they’re hungry, a granola bar. Give them non verbal support until they calm down. Suggesting to older children that they take a break in their room until they collect their thoughts is a great strategy to help a child to stop spiraling. Visual support is one way to give children the ability to express their emotions. Using emojis as a way to communicate during a tantrum can help a child express their feelings based on which emoji they choose.

Todays teens are dealing with some heavy issues at the same time they naturally pull away from their parents and family and seek out peers for advice. Keeping an open line of communication and reinforcing the presence of adults in your teens life that they can turn to for help goes a long way for them to know they don’t need to shoulder burdens alone. Teachers, guidance counselors, coaches, aunts, uncles and family friends are all people who teens could approach with an issue they may not be comfortable talking to their parents about and it’s important that we as parents let them know they have that option.

When it comes to technology and social media Bagdade says you need to parent based on the child. If one child needs time limits and restricted access then you need to put those in place. Other children can handle more freedom without abusing it. The most important thing is to let your children know that if they see or hear something that they don’t understand or are upset by, they can come to you to talk about what they learned. Teens today have so much information at their fingertips. Help them explore how their technology use makes them feel so they can begin to connect how they’re feeling to how much time they’ve spent scrolling social media.

Franki Bagdade is a wealth of information about parenting school aged children. I highly recommend her book “I Love My Kids, But Don’t Alway Like Them” as well as exploring her website for more tips. I will post links below so you can pick up her book and find her webpage. Tune in to episode 31 of my podcast to hear more from Franki Bagdade.

To get the book “I Love My Kids, But Don’t Always Like Them”
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1950328899/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1950328899&linkCode=as2&tag=faab0e-20&linkId=d7c3cf8a8a56e33f303029715b5fad94

Learn more on Franki’s website:
Consulting | Www.faabconsulting.com

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Courtney is a Mom and movement specialist, who wants to help you move more while raising healthy humans.

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